Subject: my first day back Date: 27 Apr 2001 19:00:33 -0700 From: Paul Phillips Organization: A droolingly well-maintained Debian GNU/Linux InterNetNews site Newsgroups: rec.gambling.poker I met with Becky and Linda as scheduled at 11:00 AM. Benny was also present at the meeting. I spoke as little as possible -- most of the conversation was between Becky and Linda. Becky's tone was extremely friendly and conciliatory. Becky said that the evening I was barred, she had not intended for me to be thrown out -- she had wanted me brought to her so we could discuss the situation. I did not pursue this (or any) line of conversation. I think the meeting lasted less than ten minutes. After the meeting, I caught up with friends and played in the event. At first it felt really good to be back, but as the day wore on I felt an increasing sense of loathing -- loathing for what, I am not certain. After the 4:00 super satellite I left, and I don't know when or if I am going to return to the Horseshoe. Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps never. I'm really sorry to be writing this -- I had hoped and expected that I would be able to jump right back in where I left off, but I see now that I cannot, for whatever reason. Perhaps I just need time to assimilate the events of the past week. I had written a three thousand word (and growing) essay on my feelings about the situation, right before everything changed and I was let back into the casino. Some of it still applies, some doesn't. However much survives still probably won't see the light of day until after the completion of the series. Many have already pointed this out, but I too must acknowledge the critical role Linda Johnson had in saving this situation. Not to downplay the importance of the earlier efforts by many others, but her eleventh hour intervention was all that stood between what reconciliation we have and a permanent irreparable rift. So whether I go back to the Horseshoe or not, I am grateful to Linda that I even have the option. And thank you again to everyone for all that you have done. Pensively, -- Paul Phillips | Make a whole new religion. Future Perfect | Empiricist | ha! spill, pupil |----------* http://www.improving.org/paulp/ *----------