Date: Wed, 5 Aug 2009 18:06:13 -0700
From: Zbigniew
Subject: [BARGE] Zbigniew at BARGE 2009

Obligatory travel bad beat: I neglect to remove Leatherman tool [1]
from my briefcase. TSA finds it with the x-ray. Gotta go back
outside, fill out form to have it shipped home (ten bucks vig) and
go through x-ray and metal detector again.

Travel good beat: I still have time for a Guinness before the flight.

BARGE lowball tourney: as I make my way through the field, I think,
"This is a great tourney. You can go quite a way just by playing
Good Poker." Reflecting later, I realize I overlooked "...as long
as the cards go your way nearly every time." I play tight and good.
Bluff good. Pick off bluffs good. (The check-call is pretty damned
powerful in draw.) Make the final table. W00T! Somehow I bust two
people in one hand and I have most of the chips. We're down to three
people: me, Gillian and Steve Bort. We play a hand or two before
Steve proposes what I deem a rather odd deal.

Steve and I started the tourney at the same table. Typically in the
historical-games tourney, there are a few people who ask, "How do
you play this game, anyway?" Steve is one of those people. I try
to be friendly and give him a few tips, but at the same time, I
teasingly point out that I can't pass on >too< much, cuz I want to
win the freakin tourney. This must have made an impression, because
laterz in the tournament, Steve and I meet again (our table was one
of the early ones to break) and he asks, "Are you really competitive?"
I reply, "No, not really, but I WANT TO WIN."

Anyway, back to the deal. Steve makes an interesting speech about
feeling lucky he made it this far, being tired at 1:30 AM, being
happy with third place, being outclassed by the other two opponents,
etc. He proposes we split the remaining prize pool by chip count
and then--the odd part--he will quit the tourney, take his smallest
stack out of play, take the third place trophy, go to bed and let
Gillian and me play for the first place trophy. We run the numbers
and it's obviously a good deal for me, so it's done. Afterward, I
wonder aloud if Steve has overlooked the Luck Factor, if nothing
else, but I guess he didn't "WANT" to win. :)

Gillian obviously wants the damned trophy. I'd like it, too, but
with close to first place money in my pocket, I don't "WANT" it.
As we set out, I state, "I hope the trophy won't mean less to you
if it's not a hard-fought battle." "NFW!" (or something to that
effect) cries Gillian. We play for another thirty minutes. I play
pretty bad, get some pretty bad hands. Gillian plays 'way g00t and
gets good hands, forcing me to do dumb stuff like fold to pre-draw
three-bets. I think the turning point stackwise was losing with
seven-high to a better seven-high.

The last hand of the tourney was illuminating. I'm agonizing over
my middling hand pre-draw and Gillian says, "Let's just get this
over with." I'm not too happy about that statement, but it was a
great manipulation ploy Gillian worked before. Sort of, "You're not
gonna be a big pussy against a GIRL, are you?" So, I put the chips
in and Gillian wins the trophy.

I spend the rest of BARGE telling people, "I won the most money,
but I got the second place trophy," which confuses the heck out of
everyone.

(By the way, thanks to Fich, who was sweating Gillian, for some
insightful observations after the tourney. I hope I can get to know
you better in the future.)

After the tourney, I play some video poker to cool down and won
fifty bucks. Prior to BARGE, I checked the vpFREE site [2] and
discovered that there are four full-pay deuces-wild video poker
machines at Binion's. Until recently my dabbling in VP was half-hearted.
I found a site with a free, but slow, trainer [3] that I used
intermittently. Finally, I realized, "There's gotta be an app for
that," and found iWinPoker, a trainer for iPhone. After that, I
spent just about every spare minute training myself up to a lousy
94% correct-play efficiency.

I've captained Team MPN [4] for six years now and we're lucky to
have cultivated a skillful team, most of whom have played on it for
several years. This year it's heldar, Bart Simpson, BUTTER/LVGLENN,
Howard C. and pygmyhipo and I. The team looks very strong, but the
cards didn't cooperate and we lost about half our stack. Still, I
think the team played well and I look forward to having everybody
back next year.

Card dead in the Stud Shootout. I am second out at my table. The
winner of my table and CHORSE teammate, pygmyhipo, goes on to place
high. (Third? Where the heck is the results email?)

I land in a 3-6 dealer's choice game that is just starting up. I
have the second choice and put Joe Long on tilt by selecting holdem,
buwahahahaha. I am a little taken aback, cuz it is dealer's choice
(DC) after all, and I'm the freakin dealer. Joe is vocal about it
and apparently on tilt, cuz, in his opinion, the DC game is for fun
oddball games and not for an uncreative dealer to pick an everyday
boring game. I have an interesting choice at this point: I can tilt
Joe even further or I can try to calm him down. I choose what I
deemed the Greater Challenge; I try to calm him down. (On reflection,
I wonder why, "Just ignore him," didn't cross my mind, heh.) The
calm-down is successful (more to Joe's credit than mine) and we
cheerfully complete our holdem round.

Two of the Disciples of Oz (AKA the Colorado Contingent) are at the
DC table, Bob J. and Merlynn. In past years, I've been lucky to
spend some time getting to know a different Disciple and--perhaps
coincidence--they are all very interesting people. Oz, thanks for
directing the Disciples to come to BARGE; they really add a lot.
Now, although I know these people are Disciples, I don't really
know how that came to be and I am curious. The topic comes up in
the DC game.

I have quietly admired Merlynn since her first BARGE. (On rereading,
that sounds a little creepy, so let me state that I've quietly
admired a number of ARGers for a number of reasons.) She plays a
couple of Chowaha hands in a manner I deem needlessly passive and
I finally pipe up, teasing, "Ohhhhh...you 'just-call' with freakin
queens full and take half the pot!" Combining this with Discipledom
questions that have likely-long answers and our opposite-end positions
at the table leads to a bunch of "Let's talk about it later"s.

The game breaks and Merlynn kindly comes over to "Talk about it
later." She's very charming and a great talker (in spite of my
impression that she is generally quiet). We discuss Discipledom.
(Oz taught an "experimental college" class on poker and the Disciples
are ex-students.) We discuss poker passivity and being a Girl. (How
passive Girls might manipulate Boys into making aggressive mistakes.
How Smart Boys might try to manipulate passive Girls into being a
little more aggressive and thus a little more readable.) We also
do the usual background checks and she mentions her husband (Whose
name I will forget half a dozen times. (Hi, Brett.)) and poker
friend Luke, who can't play much cuz he has kids now. (Foreshadowing
complete.)

Off to bed for a decent night's sleep. Down to the Coffee Shop for
breakfast. I'm a little surprised to see Merlynn there, as she had
mentioned that she was staying elsewhere, but I reckon she's trading
in her poker room comps. She sees me walk in and beckons to share
a seat at the table. Also at the table is some guy named Brett. I
wonder if maybe Brett is Merlynn's husband, but the surname on the
badge is different. [6] So, I figure he's Yet Another Disciple of
Oz.

(At this point in the story, I must declare that I have a simple
memory. Stuff that stands out, like the unusual name Merlynn, sticks
pretty good. (Personal to Merlynn: please reply with origin story,
if you don't mind.) Stuff like white guys named Brett--not so much.
I must also declare and decry the Evils of Demon Rum, including the
detrimental effects on attention and memory.)

We have another nice chat during breakfast. Topics include: how the
obsessive might want to deal with a slow waitress and the
no-breakfast/tourney-hands-will-be-missed dilemma; lots of poker
talk; why Zbig turns his nose up in response to, "I play a lot of
sit-n-gos." [6] I ask a lot of ice-breaker questions of Brett, since
I'd never met him, including, "Is this your first BARGE?" (Third.)
Every now and then, after one of these questions or one of my
comments about the Colorado Contingent, Merlynn and Brett exchange
a knowing glance and giggle. After the second time, I start thinking,
"They know something I don't know. WTF am I missing here?" I continue
to ask Brett questions THAT MAKE NO SENSE IF HE WAS HER HUSBAND.
FINALLY, after the sixth glance-giggle, Brett is nice enough to
ask, "Are you gonna tell him or am I?" To Merlynn's credit, she
>still< appears willing to let it run, but Brett can't take it any
more and says, "I'm Merlynn's husband." Embarrassed replies follow,
but I'm secretly pleased that I had the chance to put two feet in
my mouth, but only managed one.

So, we cope with slow waitress by eating our breakfasts and sucking
up the missed hands. On the way to tourney, I wonder aloud how many
we missed and Brett replies, "I put the over/under at six." "I'll
take the under," is my reply and we spend the rest of our walk
negotiating amount and terms of the bet and me saying, "Hurry up.
I have the under." [7]

I play Good Poker in the TOC, but the cards don't cooperate and I'm
out in a little under four hours.

Followed up the TOC with more VP, avoiding Binion's tournaments and
ring games. In several years past, I've been Involved when the
Symposium starts, missing it in spite of having paid the entry fee.
This year, I was determined to go. It turned out to be a Good Thing.

Good Thing: quantity of food ordered combined with list admonition
to be considerate yields enough food for all and enough for multiple
trips for considerate-sized plates. Good Thing: ts4z handicapped
the field and started a syndicate; my gut reaction is to trust Tim's
handicapping, so I toss 100 bucks into the syndicate; syndicate
nets me 155 bucks--ding! Good Thing: I happen to share a standing
table in the rear of the room with mph and we have a nice chat; get
a few pointers on calcutta betting; and Goodest of all, Mike says,
"I have a comped dinner at Hugo's Cellar. You wanna have dinner
with me?"; "Fer sure!"

On the way out of Symposium, I spot Stephen and Sabyl at VP machines.
I hadn't said hi to Sabyl yet, so pull mph over and say hey. What
I did not realize is that Mike's been serious-dabbling in the VP
world, so he gets a chance to pick brains of serious-sideline team.
It was a great conversation and an interesting window into a world
which I will continue to view from afar.

Dinner is good. The conversation with mph is gooder. Somehow he
lets slip that today is his birthday. Best wishes are tendered. A
plan to "go to the bathroom," find the waiter and order a birthday
dessert flashes through my mind, but good conversation and Demon
Rum cause the thought to flash through my mind again--the next day.

After dinner, it's "What next?" and (Demon Rum) I completely space
on karaoke. (Speaking of Demon Rum, even now I'm not sure if karaoke
was scheduled for Friday night.) Instead, I suggest, "Let's check
the Binion's poker room and see if anything catches our interest."
Although we are standing directly in front of Binion's, we somehow
manage to take a bizarre circuitous route (Demon Rum again?) and
we both land in the no-limit game. This was my first shot this year
at the game. I've had my fair share of Demon Rum, so I play gingerly.
I think I blew off a bunch of my stack when some "donk" got all in
on the flop and rivered me, but I win most of it back when I manage
to get Bryan to call all-in with a set vs. my nuts (str8). He missed
his ten-outer.

I spend three hours trying to crawl out of my fifty-dollar hole,
but there was no joy. This was rather foolish, as the three hours
ended at 6 AM. Two-and-a-half hours later, I'm up and showering for
the Main Event. The lack of sleep showed, as TrayRacer observed,
"Zbig, you OK? You look like shit!" Fortunately, I was tired, but
not hung over, so I could play decently.

I recognize some schmuck (Rhymes with "Schuck.") at my table. It's
Brett and we exchange cordial greetings and probably the now-running-joke
about whether he's married and who he might be here with. Alas,
Brett busted pretty early, KK vs. AA. [8]

I hold on for a while, but get to that jam-or-fold inflection point
[9]. QB raises. I jam in the big blind with 77. He calls with AA
and I miss, but I have him covered. Crippled, I luck into QQ under
the gun a few hands later. I'm not exactly sure, but I may have
trapped with a standard raise for half my stack. Brenda M. reraised
to put me all in. I called, of course. She said, "I have a bad
hand." I replied, "I have a good hand," tabling my QQ. She has AJ,
turns Broadway and IGHN in 63rd. Win 20 bucks in last-longers.

Not so flattering: I spot B, so go over and say hi, exchange
pleasantries.

"Do you remember me?" ask I.

"No." (This is not really surprising but...)

"I first met you at ESCARGOT. We said hi the past three BARGEs. You
were at my banquet table last year. I'm a big fan."

"Oh. Well. Nice to meet you."

Banquet is very nice. The "Did you know I'm married to this guy?"
joke is repeated. [10] The beef is good. [11] As last year, thanks
to the non-drinking r00lerz who gave me their spare drink tickets.

Someone else complimented Nick on his speaking ability and I must
do the same. Nick, you're very, very good and I hope we get to keep
you for a long time. [12] Doyle was very entertaining. On the run-up
to BARGE, I watched Doyle on TV's "High Stakes Poker" and mentioned
to Significant Other (SO) that he would be our speaker this year.
Now, SO is not a poker player and doesn't find it very interesting,
but she knew who Doyle was and opined that he seemed to be a gracious
and polite man. That he could impress SO that way with minimal TV
contact is a testament to his graciousness. More of same was on
display during the banquet. Thanks, Doyle, for the time, for the
graciousness and for the generosity. Thanks, Nolan, for pulling the
right strings. P.S. Roshambo is dead and the Tiltboys are pussies.

Off to Reindeer Games and I'm in must-drink HORSE. I'm a little too
loose, as usual, and not lucky enough. Ice is kicking serious ass
and probably needed ten racks when he was done. I sorta try to build
a chip castle, but it falls down, so I give up. P.S. Chip castle
competition is dead and the Tiltboys are pussies.

Game breaks, so I rack up and discover I am +2 in spite of tipping
hugely and not catching many hands. I bounce around Dealer's Choice
and HORSE games. Land next to Scott B. and note that I'd met his
friend Diana last year who mentioned that he was an old CMJ [13]
guy of about my vintage. I was a college radio wannabe and have an
old man's nostalgic soft spot for "music in my day." [14] Scott
totally outclasses me in experience and knowledge, so I feel a
little overwhelmed, but I'm pleased we got the chance to talk.

Rack up at 5:15 AM. Get some sleep. Wake up in time to play heldar's
Playboy Mansion freeroll, which he transferred to me the night
before. (Congrats to heldar on the first place in the NLHE!) I'm a
little leery of winning an overpriced (income taxes sux) trip to
the Playboy Mansion that starts in Vegas and a chance to be on
"REGIONAL TELEVISION," so I'm not upset when Marlin snaps off my
KK with A8s00ted. There was some talk about how the BARGErs might
eliminate locals chop up the prize, but such hubris was punished.
The only time I checked on the late players, it was two BARGErs and
three locals. Ultimately, I heard the good news that BARGEr Matt
M. won.

A very pleasant dinner with good friend LVGLENN/BUTTER and his wife.
They are locals and kindly lend me their bright red Mercedes coupe
to drive myself home. I luvz driving midlifecrisismobiles. I entertain
the idea of hitting Bellagio for some 15-30 limit holdem, but I'm
'way tired, so wisely drive to Binion's and play in the 2-4
loose-passive game.

I can't get much going in the game, but, hey, there are jackpots,
so chasing them makes things slightly entertaining. Late in the
session, a tourist asks about the jackpots and all the BS terms and
conditions explained to him. Meanwhile, I limp early with 22, flop
quads, get a river check-raise in on old local. He looks really
pained, calls. I win a hundred dollar jackpot (and the pot). Rack
up and off to bed.

Monday morning I check out of hotel and apprentice commodities
trading with LVGLENN. It's over my head, yuck; need to study. After
that, I get the Mercedes again. I drive to Green Valley Ranch. Find
no decent gift for SO at the mall [15]. Blow 150 playing -EV VP.
Back with LVGLENN, we have lunch, then off to Bellagio. Finally,
something outside Binion's. [16]

Matt M. is cooling his heels in the poker room, right above me on
the 15-30 list. I congratulate him on his Playboy Mansion win. He's
dubious, but for other reasons than I. Maybe it was potential
jealously of his way-cute wife Ashley. Maybe he thought he was gonna
transfer it back to his benefactor and would be somehow "taking
advantage" if he went. (He tells me that benefactor says, "Go! Have
fun!") [17]

Flattering: I land in the 15-30 game on Matt's left (whew). We're
talking loud enough for everyone to hear and Matt says, "Ya, I play
poker for a living!"

Now, if I had to give Matt some advice, it would be, "Don't say
shit like that in a 15-30 game at Bellagio!" and that's exactly
what I'm thinking, so I counter with, "Heh! I play poker for FUN!"

Matt replies, "Really? I thought you were a long-time pro!"

"What gave you that impression?"

"I don't know. Do you play in the World Series?"

"I've never played in the World Series. I play for fun. The biggest
tourneys I play are the BARGE tourneys."

So, Matt, I don't know how the heck you got that idea, but it was
nice to hear. [18]

LVGLENN spews a buy-in in no-limit. I hit quad fours; my turn
check-raise gets a fold (but the pot is bigger than the freakin
Binion's quads jackpot). I call down a hand with A7 against an
opponent I thought perfectly capable of bluffing to the river, spike
an ace and get to hear (and not, as usual, say) "They ALWAYS run
you down," as she flashes what might have been pocket eights. Rack
up an 11 dollar loss. Off to the airport for some free wifi IMing
with SO and a smooth ride home.

FINALLY [19], it was great seeing all my old friends and meeting
my new ones. I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you all. Thanks to
everyone for being so friendly.

EXTREME THANKS to the organizers, Binion's (especially Josh), Doyle
Brunson and the shadowy underwriters.

Silly self-promotion that nets me nothing [20]: check out my web
page, http://zbigniew.pyrzqxgl.com/ If you want a link on the
rec.gamblers page, let me know. Read my ancient trip reports.
Generate your geek code. Past Virgin Queens, download the Virgin
History, in case I do something stupid like die and it goes away;
promulgate it in my (currently hypothetical) absence.

BEST BARGE EVAH! I LUVZ YOU ALL!

[1] If you're unfamiliar, it's a glorified knife, not a bondage
toy. http://www.leatherman.com/

[2] http://www.vpfree2.com/

[3] http://wizardofodds.com/

[4] http://www.menspokernight.com/html/chorse.html

[5] In the Department of Crappy Reasoning, I note that my wife's
surname is different than mine.

[6] I didn't figure out why until today: it's the freaking delayed
gratification. If I win a big pot on my first hand in a ring game,
it's real money, now. In a sit-n-go, the same event puts me one
step closer to money, ho-hum. Also, it's the delay itself. I'm
obsessive enough to not want to sit out if something comes up. In
a ring game, my obsession is limited to "Wait 'til the blind hits
me, honey!"

[7] Brett set the line well. Fortunately for me, one of the terms
was how many hands >I< missed, which turned out to be five. Brett
missed six at his table. Five bucks for me, cha-ching!

[8] But the other Disciples of Oz did well in this tourney, Merlynn,
Bob J. and
bloody-fucking-hell-I-can't-remember-her-name-even-though-she-busted-me-where-the-hell-are-the-standings
(Holy shit, I finally found it: Brenda M.) all cashed.

[9] Fancy term, huh? I read it in a book.

[10] I luvz running jokes.

[11] Steak at Binion's steakhouse two nights previous SUXORED. I
should have sent it back, but was stuck in one of those too-embarrassing,
don't-have-the-time situations.

[12] foldem, you were good, too!

[13] http://www.cmj.com/ but I think it was a different beast in
Ye Olden Tymes.

[14] http://pylon.pyrzqxgl.com/

[15] All the same stores as the mall at home. There were a couple
of mom-n-pop places, but they were peddling junk.

[16] Binion's is a ton of fun, which is probably why I don't leave,
but I always have these plans to play bigger on the strip or a
bigger tourney and they go by the board during the week.

[17] In the Small World Department, James K. had offered me the
freeroll entry, but I wasn't sure I wanted it. Laterz, heldar offered
same and I accepted. I quickly checked with James, who said something
to the effect of, "You snooze, you lose. I gave it to Matt." Good
move, James, and congrats on the cash.

[18] In case anyone thinks I was bluffing, I really have been a
low-roller since UIGEA and have pretty much suxored for the past
five years.

[19] This trip report is long. Thanks for reading.

[20] Kinda like Rodney's photos, but his photos are much more cool.
-- 
A++ G++ PKR>++ PEG-- B+ TB ADB M+
T+7d 03:10:02